Once again, they had to spend thousands of dollars to research and come to a conclusion that marriage, which is the most challenging institution requiring love, commitment, effort, and compromise can only be successful if the partners are at least five years apart. Well, I would say……..you could have looked to India, especially ancient India where couples were married only if they were five, ten, fifteen or even twenty years apart.
So, ok ok! I am exaggerating a little. But I know my parents are ten years apart and so were my grandparents and their parents sand so on. Not once did they try to divorce or the thought cross their minds. In fact, I don’t remember my grandparents even being annoyed with each other or shouting at each other (or maybe by the time I was old enough to understand, they had lost their energy or teeth or whatever).
Anyway, coming back to the latest research which concluded that to have a happy married life, the woman has to be at least five years younger than the man, should be of the same background and intelligent enough to understand the realities.
Well, well well! Folks, that is why in India you have something called “arranged marriage’ which you white folks scoff at as being too dictatorial and scary. Otherwise, how would you ever get all these points right if you don’t really “arrange” them right? Just like a game of chess! Place ‘em right and you win.
Starting from the day the girl or the boy comes of age, parents start looking for partners. And where do they look….within family, friends, co-workers and these days through newspapers and of course go online to look for that perfect match. Though, I do not want to contest the phrase that ‘marriages are made in heaven’, yet I don’t believe in that statement. Simply because, at the end of the day, we have to look for that ‘Made in Heaven’ arrangement on earth. And then live with it!
While the research at Geneva School of Business looked at 1074 couples aged between 19 and 75 years of age, there are millions of couples in India who have celebrated their diamond or platinum marriage anniversaries and have lived happily ever after, thanks to the choice their parents made for them. In an arranged marriage, parents look at social status-which has to be either same as theirs or higher but definitely not lower – education which too has to be similar, outer demeanor or beauty or what have you followed by the castes and matching stars. Anyway, I don’t believe in the stars but I don’t want to anger the pundits by providing justifications. There are not too many of them n Canada, anyway!
The researchers said that the woman should not only be five years younger than the man, from the same background, and 27 percent more intelligent. Umm! So, 27 percent is the difference between a bachelor’s and a master’s degree or a University degree? Other results of the study showed that married couples are happiest 11 months and eight days after tying the knot, feel most comfortable with each other at just under three years, and have their best sex life after two years and four months. Also, the husband helping with household work peaks at three years, weekend getaways drop off after three years and four months, and couples who remain faithful tend to have at least 24 minutes of heart-to-heart convo each day and never go to bed angry.
The researchers claim that their formula increases the chances of having a long and happy marriage by a fifth by citing the marriage of Queen and Duke of Edinburgh. At 83, the Queen is four years and 10 months younger than the Duke and they share the same Royal background as Philip was a member of both the Greek and Danish royal families.
Another study has revealed that married couples are their happiest two years, 11 months and eight days after tying the knot. The research team asked 4,000 spouses to pinpoint their happiness during married life and calculated the time period when wedded bliss began. The study showed that just less than three years was the time when couples feel completely comfortable with each other’s bad habits and have a clear plan for their future.
In conclusion, after decades of thinking that the secret of a happy marriage lies in looks, lust or lucre, it seems that marital success is dependent on something altogether more calculating – a mathematical formula.